7 Years On....

Anniversaries...Birthdays....Christmas....New Year....It's December AGAIN!!

What's it all to me this year?

Blank Blank Blank

What's it all to me every year?

Blank Blank Blank

I feel numb and that's the way I feel each December. But this year it's complete abyss!

December has disappointed me many years now. It has not brought me wishes. It has not brought me joy. Instead it has brought me rage, anger, sadness and complete abyss.

The moment I have an inkling of hope that perhaps...(just maybe perhaps) this year would be different, I get disappointed again.

So this year, instead of feeling "hopeful" and "dreamy" and "wishful"...I'd rather remain NUMB.

That way, nothing can hurt me. That way, I feel less disappointed and more contented.

That way, I acknowledge that December means nothing to me for the last 5 years!

That way, even ordinary routine on a special day wouldn't seem soooo bad!

That way, even a meal at a mediocre restaurant (that we've been to many many many times before) would be enough to satisfy my tummy!

That way, I don't have to stress myself about buying gifts since I'm reciprocrating what I'm receiving!

That way, we shall come to an understanding that December is now meaningless to me!

That way, nobody needs to stress about what gifts to get, how much they can spend, how much they ought to spend etc.!

That way, I can focus on spending on groceries and marketing and make everyone happy!

That way...is possibly the way this December will end up!

Kudos to December....what shall New Year bring?!!

h.y.p.o.c.r.i.s.y

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies (competitors) closer"

Somehow you can never trust someone completely. Always have reservations about a person save and except your family members. I usually can sense hypocrites miles away but not this one. I know she's a potential threat and immensely sly when it comes to competition. But didn't think that she would react that way. I suppose survival instincts show that - you must do whatever to survive in this world even if it means losing a friend.

Friend? Is that who I am to her? How do you expect me to be her friend? How do you expect me to keep friends like that?

I thought you were sincere. I thought you were honest. I thought you were honourable.

From what I hear, you are foolish, unwise, and a wrecker. No wonder your life is not peaceful!

It's not 'healthy competition' if you rope your helpers and leave us with none. It's not healthy if you poke your nose into other people's business. It's not healthy if you under-cut or short-changed us.

Then you can advice me to be patient??!!

Thanksss...it was nice knowing you. It was worth knowing you....

Good luck and hope you find happiness in your life!

Proud mother!

You know when you're doing things right as a parent when......the School Calls with Good News!!

SMART School called.

2 weeks back our dear Aemir sat for a Basic Entrance Test. It was a 1 1/2 hour paper but our boy finished & handed in his paper after 30mins! I'm not sure if he's too confident about it but when the father returned to the exam hall, discovered he was not on his desk, the father told him to check his paper again!!! Check 5 mins & DONE!!!

It was hilarious and worrying at the same time.

Today I received a delightful call and was told that he excelled in all 3 papers (English, BM & Maths). Basically he scored all As for his test! And he has been accepted at the school for next year.....and a letter of offer shall follow suit before the school holidays informing us when to get his uniform and books for next year.

WOW!!! Looks like lots of expenditure before he starts school.

And plenty of white/black shoes to get!!

Whatever it is, I'm so happy for him....and I know he's a smart boy - although playful most of the time!

Congrats my boy!

They are Hitched

My buddy and I go a loooonnnggg loooonnnngggg way and we do manage to "find" time to catch up with things (twice a year...maybe 3x - which is sad!). Nevertheless we do know what the other has been up to, EXCEPT the moment she got "hitched"

It was good news for me to hear that she got engaged but months later I get an invitation to their reception....hmmmm still thinking that it's their wedding reception, I was honoured to attend. Then after much investigation, I discovered that they got hitched 2 months backs (without telling me!!!!!)

DARN!! DARN!! DARN!!! I have no qualms about it because I'm soooo very happy for her!!!! It's the moment I've been waiting for ....and after (??) boyfriends, finally she met someone but unfortunately I've never met him till this day. I guess he doesn't want to meet me either. Anyways, to be invited for her post-wedding reception is already a 'gift'....EXCEPT that it'll be at a BAR!

If only the invitation came earlier - before my transformation, I wouldn't be scratching my head thinking of how to dress for the occasion and how people would respond to a hijaber entering a BAR!!

I gotta get all the fashion magazines out so that I won't feel out of place for the occasion!

And now they are "hitched"...can't wait for the babies to 'pop' (although they claim they don't want any)...

congratulations buddy!

"H.I.J.A.B.E.R.S"

As you know, I've just recently started wearing the hijab ...and recently I've learned that my cousin has followed suit....(*smiles* I'm not alone here!)

A few days ago, I just learned of an icon and blogger called Maria Elena and also discovered who Hana Tajima is. (Forgive me....I'm just a late bloomer)

It is interesting to know and compare experiences of first-time 'hijabers' (which is the term used by youngsters these days). Reading Maria's blog, I see similar experiences that I have faced and am facing lately.

1. Unrecognisable
     I can walk around in the office unnoticed! Pretty much invincible because people have not gotten used to this new image walking around. Then, when I greet clients, they have a weird look on their face - trying hard to think where they've seen this face before. It won't click until I mention my name.

2. The Treatment
Yup! People treat you differently. I've been called "Puan Sri" "Ustazah" ...bowed at with respect (as though I'm some big shot Menteri)....And then there's the "Alhamdulillah" and "Masya Allah" and "Subhanallah"....(semualah keluar). But how do you respond to such reactions from people around you? I can't say "Enough! It's only a piece of cloth covering my head"
I can't say "Oh shut up! I've heard it before" or even "Gotta problem with it?"

So my response so far has been...smile, nod, giggle, walk away...
Only because I don't know if theire reactions are sincere and complimentary or perhaps in awe and disgust! Who knows rite?

But I do which people would treat me indifferently. Just because I am now a hijaber doesn't me my entire nature HAS to change. I know I can't be showing off too much skin and wearing skin-tight clothes. I know I have to watch my mannerisms....don't offer to shake hands with everybody - must be careful! (This a bit difficult to judge...men usually don't offer to shake you hands if they see you wearing tudung. But I believe to be professional it is ok to greet someone (even a male) by shaking their hands...Nonetheless, there's no strict rule about it!)

3. The Styles



butikpinkku.blogspot.com



I am glad that I have been complimented on the way I wear my hijab (lilit the selendang..). I'm blessed to be lilit-inclined and have learned it through Youtube. Thanks to all the Youtubers for uploading your tutorials especially FaraButikpinkku.

I have also turned to Dara Magazine monthly for various styles and tudung fashion.

At the end of the day, it depends on how creative you are when wearing your tudung. As long as the basics are there, I doubt you can go wrong.

And unlike people that wear the ready-to-wear-tudung or tudung express with the awning, I think I'm better off with the selendangs, bawals and pashmina because I can never get bored. Also it's the only range that I can afford at the moment.

Everyday I get this "How do you lilit your tudung?"

"Starts from here, pin here and you go round & round pin again DONE....selalu ikut citarasa sendiri!!"

To be honest, it doesn't take too long to discover your own style (one that you're comfortable with) for work and weekends you can mengada-ngada try other styles if you want!

With designers like Hana Tajima, you'll definitely be inspired by her creations. Sleek and simple - just like her Japanese descent.

InsyaAllah, I hope to be closer to Allah s.a.w by wearing the hijab & bertutup aurat.

The fashion & styles come secondary....

In fact, I do hope that I can introduce these ladies here about different styles (got some offers already!).

xoxo...Happy Trying!

NEWS FLASH: "Shocking Reasons why Malaysians are Living Beyond their Means"

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/9/22/nation/9550278&sec=nation

The Star Newspaper today revealed a "shocking" survey about why Malaysians are living beyond their means..

They wronged the people for not managing their finances well.

I find even the Headlines shocking...It has shocked me that they are ONLY JUST discovering this habit from Malaysians. It is the culture in Malaysia to lepak at the malls....ONLY because there are soo many to choose from. Then they complain that students from schools and colleges hang out at the malls, passing their time away doing absolutely nothing except watching passer-bys and causing a social havoc. Can you suggest any other places they can go to for entertainment or socialising?

In Europe you find many many many parks that are big, clean, "green" (especially) and welcoming to hang out. Even to have a picnic under the shady tree. If you complain that it's the weather, then after 3pm is pretty ideal to have a picnic in the park - get some fresh air, read a book, fly a kite, play ball.....But are there any decent parks around for us to do that? If there are, then are Malaysians keen to have a picnic at the park?

I find that Malaysians are too afraid of the sun and heat that they tend to have activities indoors. An afternoon at the park (if you provide) may be the last thing on their minds. And if couples go to parks, they religious departments will create a stirr and accuse them of khalwat. If they are non-Muslims then, there can be no such public display of affection.

Then how about entertainment parks? Theme parks? Berjaya has created an indoor theme park but how well is it patronised? It's a social stigma amongst parents of secondary school children to allow their kids to go there. Simply because they are not behaving well at such places. It's not the same excitement for an indoor theme park and an outdoor one. Even I wouldn't dream of going there.

The next outdoor theme park is either Sunway or Genting. I think most of us have gone there at least once. But you can never go there too many times since it gets boring and costly.

In short, Malls and Supermarkets are the only places that caters to our weekend entertainment especially since there're so many to choose from.

In the article, it addresses the issue of credit card debts. I'm afraid this is on the onus of the card-user. Anyone who does not monitor their expenses using credit cards can be a victim of credit card debts. This I have to blame the banks....for making it too easy to approve credit cards to those who can't really afford it. Perhaps limiting their credit limit to below RM5000 according to their income. Banks allow these financially incapable individuals to fall prey to own too many credit cards.

In my opinion, the moment you swipe your credit card worth more than you can pay, you are on your way to being a bankrupt!!

Another astonishing discovery is:

“In one of our surveys, we were shocked that many children did not even know where money came from,” he said, adding that most replied “the ATM (automated teller machine).

“And, they do not believe that their parents have to work to earn money,” Selvaraj added.

- from The Star

SERIOUSLY?!!! Why aren't children made aware of where money comes from?
They don't grow on trees and they certainly don't just come out of ATMs. I feel sorry for these children and even more so for their parents for not teaching them the essence of financial management at a young age.

Children must be taught that money doesn't come easily. These days parents just throw money like it's nothing....everything buy buy  buy!

There comes a point when parents need to step up and tell their children that money spent is hard-earned money from your own sweat and blood.

Last time it was easier to picture a parent working hard to earn a living because they are labourers and you can literally see & smell their sweat when they work or after they return from work. Today, most parents are executives in offices and the only sweat they produce is when they walk to their cars at the carpark. Children don't see how hard you work...it's difficult for them to visualise it these days.

So, Malaysians, let's change the way we entertain ourselves and let's be a little bit more thrifty when it comes to spending. Ask yourself if you really really really need it.....and adopt a 'recycling' attitude from now on!

Good luck..

Transformer

You'd think it's the effect of Transformers 3: The Dark Moon. Or perhaps it's the effect of all the dramas that I've been following...

I think it is genuine and I believe Allah s.a.w. has 'spoken' and led me to a virtuous path of rightousness (must check dictionary) ....

The Holy Month of Ramadan has led me back to the right path..has answered "someone's" prayers for me to turn over a fresh leaf. (I use the term 'fresh' because there's nothing new about me except the way I look)

I have learned to embrace the idea of wearing a hijab. It has lingered in my head for a while but I have never been brave enough to wear it. I do not want to jump straight into the idea because I need to adjust to a different way of living...a change in lifestyle and habits.

I don't know why it's such a gender-biased notion that one who wears a hijab must act a certain manner. Even I fall prey to such notions and admit that I snigger at the sight of a couple (woman with hijab & a guy) holding hands and cuddling in public, but I seem to allow such events to occur if the woman is hijab-less. WHY?!! WHY?!! WHY?!!!

Also, there are certain places that women with hijabs do not patronise...like lounges or the bars. Fine!!! They sell alcohol but some restaurants sell alcohol there's no stigmas if one patronises such places. I guess hijabs and vices do not get along!

So, there's a whole new world for me to explore and I can only see it through the eyes of a hijab-wearing individual. Even people view and treat me differently. I do not think I've changed as a person - personality-wise. I do not think I am capable of such transformation at that level but people seem to think that just because I wear a hijab now, I am not lively and bubbly like I used to be.

Not only that, people seem to stare at me in awe. Act less wild and erratic...some even question what made me decide to wear a hijab.

I'd just like to clarify that...NOTHING MADE me want to wear a hijab. I did not go through a 'traumatic' experience. I don't think anyone needs to go through such a phase in life. I doubt I am going through an identity crisis or a mid-life crisis. Honestly, it just felt right and the time is right to wear the hijab. It suits me, I'm comfortable and Alhamdulillah I have no complaints (so far hehehhe)

I do hate it when people think I'm now "nice". OH PLEASE!!! Clearing the air again, I am the same person you know a month back....I am loud, crazy, and just the way I am. I don't think wearing a hijab should make me act any different...BUT someone people expect me to.

If only a shawl could do such magic and make the devil into an angel...That Shawl must be the hottest selling item in town!!

It's bullshit if u say "A hijab-wearing person is more well-mannered than a hijab-less person"

I started as a hijab-less person...and a hijab doesn't even make u a better person...it just LEADS u to be a better person because society expects you to potrait yourself as a better person. It's up to the individual to be a better person and it should be what the society expects or determine.

Hijab or NOT I am the same!!

I must say I love it because I don't have to blow-dry my hair every morning...(tiresome)

but I do have to iron my shawl EVERY morning (also tiresome)....NO DIFFERENCE!!!



Surprised? I think I look kurus!!!



My left profile is BEST!

My right profile is SEDUCTIVE?!!

Oooo......



Is it MY CALLiNG?!!

MIRACLES OF RAMADHAN

One does not realise the "gifts" Allah s.a.w. brings us this Holy Month of Ramadhan until.....

you begin to see a Transformation from 'Uncovered' to 'Covered'!

Same Old Me

Same Me Uncovered

I used to think that it will take a lot of rebelling and persuading before I decide to take a "BIG" step to "Cover" myself. But God works in miracles and I can sense that my transformation or hijrah towards the Hijab will be a smooth transition. I'd like it to be a smooth transition because I think I still fear that I may not be ready for that "BIG Step"...and should I choose to embark on that journey, there's no looking back (even though it's for the best!)

I also fear that my personality will not suit the image that I will potrait. It's always been a gender issue that a 'covered' girl must act a certain way ["..bersopan...ayu...baik ...rajin solat etc.."] In fact I will persevere to be THAT kind of girl but like any transformation it will take time. On the other hand, I have come across many 'covered' people who behave even worse than I. Therefore, I am glad that at least, I am true to myself and am only embarking on this New-found journey because I AM READY!

Anyway, these days, the Muslimah fashion industry has boomed and has created many different styles and designs to suit each individual character. I am glad that I received my 'calling' now....but even more so that I received it before it is too LATE!

I also know that for those people who know me, they will question and wonder what happened? What made me decide to "cover-up"? In short, "Nothing MADE me decide, I just decided it was time."

I know many people who have transitioned and they are still the same person they were before. It's not the appearance or the attire that makes the individual. It's the person himself, all body and soul that makes the person that you are.

I also know that I'll be subjected to lots of criticisms and hope that there's more Good than Bad. I have been called "makcik" whilst wearing a hijab but on the other hand, I have been called "adik". So like a coin, there are 2 sides of the story. You can hate me for 'covering' up or you can respect my decision for covering-up. At the end of the day, only I can decide which way to lead my own life.

Having said that, I am not willing to take a GIANT LEAP...instead, I will take teeny-weeny steps, little baby steps, tip-toes..... before a FULL TRANSFORMATION!!! Wish me luck and May Allah give me strength to face anything that comes in my way. Amin.



Targeted New Look

Still a Yummy Mummy?!