Anniversaries...Birthdays....Christmas....New Year....It's December AGAIN!!
What's it all to me this year?
Blank Blank Blank
What's it all to me every year?
Blank Blank Blank
I feel numb and that's the way I feel each December. But this year it's complete abyss!
December has disappointed me many years now. It has not brought me wishes. It has not brought me joy. Instead it has brought me rage, anger, sadness and complete abyss.
The moment I have an inkling of hope that perhaps...(just maybe perhaps) this year would be different, I get disappointed again.
So this year, instead of feeling "hopeful" and "dreamy" and "wishful"...I'd rather remain NUMB.
That way, nothing can hurt me. That way, I feel less disappointed and more contented.
That way, I acknowledge that December means nothing to me for the last 5 years!
That way, even ordinary routine on a special day wouldn't seem soooo bad!
That way, even a meal at a mediocre restaurant (that we've been to many many many times before) would be enough to satisfy my tummy!
That way, I don't have to stress myself about buying gifts since I'm reciprocrating what I'm receiving!
That way, we shall come to an understanding that December is now meaningless to me!
That way, nobody needs to stress about what gifts to get, how much they can spend, how much they ought to spend etc.!
That way, I can focus on spending on groceries and marketing and make everyone happy!
That way...is possibly the way this December will end up!
Kudos to December....what shall New Year bring?!!
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