About Creative LIFE-Styles. Management. Activities. Events
About Creative LIFE-Styles. Management. Activities. Events
Friday, February 01, 2008
First Day @ Kinddy
We decided that it was about time Aemir gets some outside ("proper") education especially before the 2nd one comes along. So we enrolled him into a nearby kindergarten that is fully Montessori.
Getting up by 7.30am (latest) is tough for him since he usually sleeps until 8am or 9am! This morning, when I woke him up and mentioned school, he was ready and bursting to go. Forget the milk, forget the bath, forget brushing his teeth and forget breakfast - he wants to go to school now!
He's been looking forward to school ever since his 'observation day' and I don't blame him. He's at a stage where he loves mingling with kids around his age. You should see him and all his cousins.
So I had to force the breakfast and the bath before taking him to school - which is 5mins away. As soon as he arrived, you can see the gleeful delight on his face. Forget Mummy, Forget Kakak (the maid had to come along) ...."Aemir's at school and I shall do whatever I want."
The teacher gave him some Play-Doh to mess with but that didn't interest him until it was time for outside play. They were gathered in a circle while the teacher distributed their sunscreen around. Then they'd line-up [make a choo-choo train] while another teacher puts on their hats and off they went. Put on the shoes outside and to the playground it is!!!
Aemir attacked the slide first, then he headed for the sandpit and then he spotted several other kids watering the plants and so he joined in. It was sheer joy to be playing with water! This is because he's not allowed to do so at home except during bathtime. That's only because we dont have a garden for him to water any plants. Our balcony is plant-free...too small to fit any garden or potted plants since it's usually taken up by the laundry line.
After play, it was time for their snack. First, they must wash their hands and thereafter a plate and cup will be distributed to each kid. With their plates and cups, they find a place to sit down while waiting for the biscuits and juices to be served. You can always tell the obedient ones from the fresh ones!!
For the first time, I see Aemir obedient sit down at the table to finish his biscuit and drink before he comes out proudly to see me. And then, they had to sit in a circle for a Chinese New Year talk!
Aemir had to be told several times to sit on the RED LINE because he loves sitting in the middle of the circle instead. It was the hardest chore for him since he had to sit down for at least 15mins before the teacher announced it was playtime.
When playtime came, he grabbed a puzzle and sat down before he got distracted with the colouring session going on the next table. It was not long before the teacher gathered all the children again for an art-time demonstration. They each had to paste Chinese New Year pictures in a booklet. I saw Aemir eagerly waited for his turn but unfortunately they didn't have enough booklets to go around and he's stuck with sticking coloured tissue balls. The teacher informed me but I didn't mind since it wasn't an important celebration for him. But he insisted and tried to get to do whatever the rest of the children were doing. Rest assured, he did end up pasting some cut flowers and butterflies on a piece of paper and very proud of it!!
I suppose not having the same thing like his other friends taught him his FIRST LESSON: It's ok to be different!!!
Before you know it, it was time for LUNCH!!!! Wash hands first then sit down with hands on your lap while the food is being served. Obediently he sat down and as soon as the noodles got on his plate, he was so eager to eat and had a bite before the teacher caught him. They usually have a small singing session (something like saying a prayer - 'doa makan') before they eat. Aemir just went Bismillah and gobbled his food!!
Eating is always a task for Aemir but this time he did most of the feeding himself and I'm very proud of him! Then the kids waited for Jared's birthday cake to be served! (yes!! lucky for him it was another kid's birthday) All of them ate the chocolate cake before they were asked to wash their hands and face and brush their teeth after their lunch.
Next just before going home, they had some time for Phonics Zoo. Aemir was very interested for the first 5 letters and then it became boring. By then I know he was ready to go home as he was very very tired and sleepy already!
They completed the Phonics Zoo and Jared's Goodie-bags were given out....and off they went. School dismissed!!!
In the car, Aemir hurriedly opened the goodie-bag, had a sip of the Nutrigen before we reached home. At home, it was diaper change time and he was so sleepy that within the next 20mins he's fast asleep on his bed.
I bet he can't wait to tell Papa about school and can't wait till Monday comes for his 2nd Day at school.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Embracing 2 0 0 8
- a new pair of glasses [ 1 for each day of the week]
- Kenwood Chef Mixing Bowl ( so I can bake him some cream puffs)
- RM600 worth of anything
- SK-II products (I hope he doesn't think I'm getting uglier!)
- etc.
And I didn't think I need any of those except a new pair of glasses (NOT 7 pairs!). In the end, we came across a lovely ruby red leather box which came with the SK-II Facial set and he got me that on the spot! Yippeee.....And he promised me the glasses (which I still haven't gotten till today - my fault really!)
That's why I Love My Husband!!!!!
15 Dec: No Maid
My caregiver (maid) decided to return to her hometown for Hari Raya Haji. So I'm left with taking care of my boisterous son Aemir for approximately 2weeks.
Initially, I was worried since I really don't have much energy to chase him around in the 5th month of my pregnancy. But with a lot of organisation and help from my hubby and the cook, I manage to do what most mothers-without-help does. And I certainly enjoyed it...though it would have been more enjoyable if I wasn't carrying the extra "baggage"
Although enjoyable, I do hate mealtimes. Aemir has a bad habit of running around during meal times and it's very difficult for him to sit down unless his fav programme is on TV or there's no distraction around him! The maid usually chases him around and I can't be bothered to do that. Therefore out came the "disciplinarian" in me.....screaming and shouting and begging for him to sit and finish his meal!
Then 2 weeks turned into 3 weeks...thank God by then my mum arrived with some help!
20 Dec: Hari Raya Haji
Nothing much....we went to my sister-in-law's and stayed there the whole day to EAT EAT & EAT somemore!
24 Dec: Xmas Eve
We went to Singapore to fetch my uncles at Changi - who've just returned from performing the Hajj and later that evening my brother who's back for a 2-week break from Melbourne.
We also went down to Orchard Road to do some Christmas shopping....and show Aemir the Chirstmas decorations. It was lovely and thought of returning at night to see the lights lit up. In the end we bought another stroller - this time it's the Peg Prego Pliko P3 in RED! It was cheaper than in KL and a good bargain indeed.
Afterwards we headed to Beach Road to buy Sup Tulang and Mee Mamak Goreng.....for dinner.
And by the time we were heading for Orchard Road to see the Christmas ligths at night, Aemir was already fast asleep in the car and we detoured and headed back to JB instead.
25 Dec: Xmas
In honour of my darling cousin, Ana, we decided to have Christmas BBQ. My aunt prepared so much and we ate out hearts out. And the whole day was spent eating and eating except that my sister missed it all as she's not back from UK yet.
31 Dec: New Year's Eve
For once, my family is COMPLETE! Each of my siblings are back and I thought we could plan a Family New YEar's Eve Party...but to my surprise, my brothers and sister already have plans, and so does my parents. So it just the 3 of us again ..... hubby thought we could take a drive out to the highway to see the fireworks at The Curve. I was all game for it provided Aemir's still awake!
At the stroke of midnight - you find us 3 sleeping on the bed only to be awoken by the smell of Aemir's wet pampers around 1am. And both hubby and I decided to watch "I am Legend" on DVD while waiting for everyone to come back! Hahahhahahah
What a wonderful way to celebrate 2008 !!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Our Second Bump
Alhamdulillah....the 1st trimester is over and I'm able to eat, drink, move, travel & do other things than sit infront of a toilet bowl, dustbin or any container that can hold the contents of my stomach! I can say it was the worst 2-3 months of my life. On the bright side, I lost so much weight so fast and even got below 70kg! I was happy about that. Of course it didn't last long and now I'm back to 70kg & above!! [sob sob sob]
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Friday Live Music
By 5pm you can hear the band setting up their instruments and doing a sound-check for the evening's event! It's incredibly loud and you can definitely hear it clearly from my office room!
I have to saw that it can be quite annoying when you're trying to wrap-up the week's work - only to be bothered by the sound of 'loud' music coming from Westin.
However, when times are slow at the office and the only thing you keep your eye on is the clock on the computer....then hearing the sound of the band practising and making sound-checks can be quite comforting and relaxing at the same time.
Well...to all those reading this blog...Hope you have a great weekend and I shall return with more stories from the party!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
T W O


I'm sure "The Terrible Twos" sound familiar to most families and indeed it is the most challenging part of bringing up a toddler into this world. It is when they insist they are ALWAYS Correct and they are extremely adventurous (I guess for some!!) and willing to try every little thing they see you do!
Somehow it's no longer the "Terrible Twos" but the "Terrible One-and-a-halves"!!! yup yup...they are indeed getting smarter and smarter..
At this age, Aemir finds a camera fascinating....not only does he love posing for the camera, but he loves taking shots of himself with the camera! Hmmm...in the end it's the flash that gets in his eyes. But to no avail he's persistent and keeps on trying!!! Is that a sign of a vain-pot?
Then comes the switching on and off the switches! Even the safety gadgets are useless since he can take them off, try and find an electrical appliance or a handphone charger and "probe" the switch. It's highly dangerous and it's very difficult since we always have to keep a close eye on him.
And even if he knows he cannot do something, he shall attempt to do it....err...it has a sequence:
1. Go near the object of his fascination
2. Get your attention by calling "Mama" or "Papa"
3. Grin his cheeky grin while hand reaching out for the object
4. When you spot him, he retrieves his hand off the object
5. And when you're not looking again, he giggles and try his luck AGAIN!!
Just imagine....
That's only one of his long list of mischievous activities......I lost count!
But no matter how much he's testing our patience, at the end of the day, we still love him no matter how naughty he can be.
Do tell you stories and worries...Would love to hear from your experience of bringing up a Toddler!
Happy Birthday , Dear Aemir!
We love you
Mama & Papa
HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA!!
I must congratulate the organisers and the Ministry of Culture and Heritage headed by YAB Dato Seri Rais Yatim - with his powerful and patriotic opening speech!
When we arrived at PICC, we had to walk a bit to get to this balcony where we saw everyone helping themselves to food at the buffet table......BUT unfortunately, these organisers were so kelam-kabut that there were not enough seats for everyone!! Also taking into consideration the typical Malaysian attitude where "Heck! I got this seat first and I shall remain seated until the event is over!"
Yup!! With such a Malaysian attitude displayed by most of these American Express Card holders, I was ashamed to be associated with them....Nobody got off their A$$ and offerred their seats to us even though they've finished eating!
Such crappy attitude......and to think these people were of a mid-to-upper class and highly likely well educated, you would expect them to give up their seats for those standing and eating!!
So we all stood up and had our dinner - which wasn't THAT great to begin with!!
Another typical Malaysia attitude - everytime another tray of chicken wings came out of the kitchen, you can see these scroundrels rushing for a hand in it. And before you know it, the tray is EMPTY again! Yes...perhaps the chicken wings are the most delicious amongst the spread but must you rush?!!! So embarrassing....
Next, the fashion shows and the dance shows were almost no visible from the balcony we're at. I guess the organisers thought we'd wait around, mingle and chat while waiting for the stroke of Midnight and the fireworks to begin!
It was sheer luck that we all came to an understanding that the event was a total failure and decided to go home instead!! So at 1030pm we left PICC happily and headed home to play with our little Aemir!
On our way home, we thanked God that we made the right decision because on the opposite side of the road, heading towards Putrajaya, the traffic was horrendous!!! There was an unbelievable queue of cars on the highway and it's all because everyone wanted to experience the Nation's 50th Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Funny Headline in The Star
Monday, August 06, 2007
Back to Work
The sudden rush of adrenaline after 5 mths off work was overwhelming. Back to the "morning routine" - get up, get showered, get dressed, put on make-up, jump into car with breakfast on-the-go....just to:
1. Beat the morning traffic
2. Get to work on time; and
3. Leave house before Aemir wakes up!
I almost didn't leave before Aemir got up because as I was fussing with my hair, he tossed and turned - almost getting up...and then I heard him call out for me....so I grabbed my bag and coffee and hurriedly left!
I reached the boundaries of KL just in time - before the long queue built up. After all that, I still arrived 20 mins LATE!!!
What a rush of emotions within a span on 1 1/2 hours from the moment I got up!!
The excitement of returning to work and the sadness of leaving my dear Aemir in the hands of the caretakers added on to the mixed emotions on a Monday Morning!
My whole day has progressed well so far....the "boss" is not in. I have time to acclimatise myself AGAIN at work.....and office hours is coming to an end soon!
However, my "Almost-Perfect" Day is never without any drama. My sister just called and informed me that Aemir fell off his toy car at the park and has a cut on his forehead and his palm. I'm worried that he needs to go to the doctor but according to my sis, he's ok and she's dressed the wound already!
Now hubby sounds more panic than me.....since it does involve the forehead. So I must leave now....to address this drama and see how bad it is!
Let's hope his forehead is as tough as his personality!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Mother's Day OFF
Hope that all of you had a wonderful Mother's Day as did I.
I simply told Aim, "Yang, I'm on leave today" That meant, he had to take over every motherly duties for the day; including taking care of Aemir. And you should've seen how kalam kabut he went about chasing Aemir all over the shopping mall!!! Even at Gymboree, he did the running around at all the obstacle stations.....while I stood and watched my 2 boys playing with each other. It was a memorable sight until ....Aemir made a huge fuss during lunch!!!
Yess....we had Mother's Day lunch at La Bodega with my Mummy Dearest! Thank God it was tapas...and fast because Aemir was cranky half-way through lunch and torturing his grandpa ("atuk") to take him for a drive!
By the time lunch ended and we got in the car, 5 sec later, Aemir was fast asleep in his car seat!!
Next, we went around KL property hunting! Hmmm.....I was taken from Bangsar, to Bukit Damansara, to PJ for 2 hours....and by the time we arrived home, Aemir's up from his sleep!
In attempting to "torture" the hubby, I insisted we go Carrefour to get Aemir's formula since we're running out. So, despite being tired, we both went and finally called it a day!!!
It was a good and relaxing ONE DAY! Now back to all the Mother-ly duties.....hmmm...but do share "What does Motherhood mean to you?"
Stay tune for my version of the aforesaid topic.....Cheers Mothers!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Our Vacation: Phuket
(on the right) The view of the Pool Bar at night.
another pic of the Busakorn pool from another angle 
villa pools - where you room door opens to the pool
(ideal for Honeymooners who want to "skinny-dip")
The Main Wing is just a walk away and it faces Patong Beach compared to Busakorn Wing. Another thing I love about Holiday Inn, it is stroller-friendly. There's no need to carry your stroller up and down staircases. Ramps are located strategically at main walk-ways for easy access between the Wings and around the Hotel.

Main Lobby @ Main Wing -
Relaxing, Breezy and Comfy Waiting Area because they have many, many, many comfy cushions on the sofas

Of course while walking around the Main Wing, we passed the highlight of every Child staying at Holiday Inn
Kid's Club

Many activities are organised each day children 5 above but you can definitely send kids there hassle-free and with ease of mind for the entire day without worrying if they get fed or not. I'm sure staff there will keep them entertained the entire day!
But unfortunately for us, Aemir is too small to be left there on his own while we go painting the town RED!!! hahahahahah...... Can you believe that we didn't even bring him to swim there because by then, our dear Aemir SAKIT!!!!! (demam & batuk)
So all we did was showed him there was a kiddie pool, a games room and activity room at the Hotel. Kesian..... [He didn't care pun!]Then one of the nights, we had dinner at Sam's Steaks & Grill, a restaurant located at the Main Wing. We all pandai2 didn't study the restaurant properly and only thought about what to feed our tummies.....and the brochures only said : Attire - Smart Casual, No Shorts, No Slippers!

We all got dressed for dinner (like the Mat-Sallehs) and our main concern was Aemir's choice of attire - Smart Batek Shirt and BILLABONG SHORTS!!! He insisted that he put on that shorts or we won't go out for dinner. He refused to put on the white linen pants I prepared for him....siap gosok lagi!!! So off we went and as we entered, all eyes were on the stroller!!
OK NOBODY TOLD US IT IS FINE-DINING!!! And usually kids don't fine-dine at such restaurants!!!!
So we tried to keep Aemir quiet by taking him out for walks and walks until all of us finished eating and this GAY Couple beside us LEFT!!! You should have seen the stares they gave us the moment Aemir opened his mouth! Ishhh....Sorry dude....spoiled your romantic dinner...Heck who cares!!!
Anyway, even though I had a difficult time enjoying and savouring my Roasted Lamb on the Rack with Balsamic Jus (yummy, yummy) because I had to change "shift" with Aim to take care of feverish Aemir, I did finish it!
With all that drama on the table, there was drama outside as well. It was storming outside during our dinner that night and suddenly there was a "power cut" (black out)!!! Imagine that!!! But luckily the generators kicked in and soon we had some light.....became very very candlelighty!!!
And on the way back, Patong was flooded at the main roads. Hmmm...imagine that? And a few cars and tuk-tuks got stranded and tourists are everywhere hopping onto 1 tuk-tuk to another. Lucky for us, our rented car managed to breeze through the flood and also owing to the smart driving of my beloved husband. So the rest of the night we stayed in our rooms ....cannot shop because the shops are flooded as well!!! hahahahhahaha
Our Villa Room facing the pool
Monday, May 07, 2007
Been "VACATION-ING"
Monday, February 26, 2007
Weekend Bulletin


Yeah you know that 6 sided cube with different colours on each side? I'm sure every household had them at 1 stage when it was THE CRAZE!!!! If you didn't own one, you'd have either held one or played with someone else's.....
This was all inspired by Will Smith's latest Movie "The Pursuit of HappyNess".
There we sat and tried and tried but when we were almost done, the next move will cause us to JUMBLE up the colours again!! It's quite frustrating.
Hubby said that when he was little he managed to solve the puzzle and so he was trying to prove his point. I recalled that I tried colouring the squares to look as though I did solve it or peeling the coloured stickers and placing them where I wanted it to be - AT THE CORRECT SIDE WITH THE CORRECT COLOURS!!!!
The instructions weren't EASY.....very comprehensive....but we kept trying anyway!
At 5pm we visited the RYAN TWINS! So small still and Aemir was absolutely curious who these tiny beings were. But he also tried to play Big Brother to them - trying to give them their pacifiers when they cried and helped out Liz when she was changing their pampers!!
So off we sped to Gymboree and that's the beginning of Mama's Exercise Session. It's very tiring running after him, singing and then encouraging him to do all the tasks, then carrying him and flinging him about. Thank God this time Papa was around!!!
It was Hubby's first time attending Gymboree and he was a bit BLUR!!! But soon came in sync with the programme! HE WAS SWEATING!!!
Aemir kept climbing here and there and even attempted sliding down HEAD FIRST!! Hmmm....a bit too brave!!! But all in all he always enjoyed 'Parachute Time' and "Bubble Time"!!! I love it too because I get to sit down!
By the time PLaytime was over, we were all knackered and THIRSTY!!! Had a drink and Starbucks and went back!
Aemir was fast asleep when we arrived home......and both hubby and I continued with our Rubik's. When Aemir got up at 3.30pm, had his Late Lunch and thereafter we went to TESCO Shah Alam. IT WAS CROWDED!!!!
We took whatever we wanted, paid and left!!
On the way back we detoured to the carwash. This would be Aemir's first time in the car while it was being SNOW WASHED!!! IT was a great experience for him and you can tell that he was totally amazed from the expression on his face! Everytime the guy sprayed water on the window, Aemir will squint his eyes - as though the water hit him!!! hahahhaha...
After dinner, we sat down to solve our Rubik's again and Hubby finally solved it (2nd time round)! So I got some tutorials from him and tried doing it myself. It took me about 2hrs to solve it and I WAS HAPPY!!!
By then the Carling Cup Final was on....Arsenal v Chelsea......Results speak for itself on espnstar.com!!
That was our weekend....very fulfilling one and I wish there were more of such meaningful and useful weekends to come!!!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Legalising FireWorks
His reason being:- it's a mockery of the legislation because there is no such enforcement in place!
I personally feel that this is an attempt to increase the death tolls during the festive periods. Already, the Police are doing the best to catch roadusers that are breaking the laws with Ops Sikap, in an attempt to reduce the number of road accidents during the festive periods. Now one fella decides to legalise burning of firecrackers.....might as well legalise drunk-driving during the festive periods too!
Indeed firecrackers are symbolic during festive seasons and to celebrate a joyful year ahead and it creates a better festive mood, especially during Chinese New Year. But has this fella thought about the consequences of burning fireworks and firecrackers?
Aren't the reports about children losing their fingers and toes and scarring their faces, and even houses flaring up in flames as a result of irresponsible use of fireworks, a deterrent to legalise such activities?
Honestly, what is he thinking? Even labels to warn adults/parents of responsible burning of these fireworks are not enough. Sometimes even through no fault of the parents/users of fireworks, the item itself can self-explode (due to unforeseen circumstances). In a word - Fireworks are HAZARDOUS!!!
This should be thought of thoroughly before allow Legalisation of Fireworks!! The Government must have had a very good reason for the ban of Fireworks (PUBLIC SAFETY!!!)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Introducing "The LOVE Bear"



Tatty Bear from the "Me to You" Collection has always been about LOVE. I've always thought this cute grey-coloured and adorable-looking bear has all the expression, mood, emotion and pose for every occassion. And its figurines, cards and products are almost always very personal......Too bad I hardly find Tatty Teddies around Malaysia (except maybe Hallmark) unlike in UK where every Carlton Cards or H.M. Samuel Shops would have a section dedicated for this "Love Bear".
So for those thinking of expressing their declaration of Love to their partners/spouse, do so with a Tatty Teddy!
Click on http://www.tatty-teddy.net/index.php to find more Me To You products.
Have a Wonderful Valentine's Day!!
To my Dear Hubby,
See You Tonight!!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
House-Husbands

And this?? Coming from a family with everything TRADITIONAL, I certainly would find it strange if my husband were to be seen doing the chores that I (as a wife) should be doing.
Certainly, we do sit down and complain about our husbands not lending a helping hand in the kitchen, or with the household chores, or changing the nappies, or minding the kids; but when they start controlling everything that we're so used to doing, wouldn't you feel out of place?
I definitely wouldn't mind my husband helping out at home with the chores....ONCE IN A WHILE and I certainly would be THE HAPPIEST WOMAN if he decides to do EVERYTHING! BUT I wouldn't feel the same way after 1 month of that happening. To me, it just seems wrong!
Stereotypically, the MAN is THE PROVIDER of the Family and the WOMAN is HOUSE MANAGER for the entire part of the marriage. Now women have gone out into the corporate world and have decided to be at par with the men. Most women would think that: Why can't I do what the Man can do?
Yes. I am one of them. Although I do complain and I'd love to taste some GENDER EQUALITY in my life, but in reality, this can NEVER HAPPEN! WHY?
Well, women are born with maternal instincts for a reason. Women are made to have own assets as huge as mountain and to have wombs to hold a 3-4kg foetus and to have genitals which look like 2 pieces of squashed bun put together (just use your imagination) - all these for a reason. And for that same reason, men were born with paternal instincts (if they have any), to have hairy chests and legs (err....perhaps this may apply to some women), to have facial hair as thick as the Amazon forest, and genitals the shape of pisang emas!
God made us DIFFERENT and we have different roles to play in our lives as well!
You certainly cannot expect your Man to work during the day and come back to do the household chores (cook, clean, iron and take care of the kids). Although women have a knack for doing all these chores after work, Men (sad to say) just do not have that capability!! They may in fact "Work Smart" in the corporate world but Women (proud to say) are the Champions at dividing their roles and responsibilities both at work and at home! Thus, wouldn't it suffice to say that Women should get better privileges and benefits from their employees for being excellent at their Jobs!!
Anyway, back to the issue - expecting your Man to do the household chores after work is really asking for too much from the fella. It's enough if both of you do the chores together but you cannot expect him to be doing it everyday - especially if only the husband works!
You'd be amazed at how many women these days who are stay-at-home wives/mothers and they do NOTHING except take care of themselves (i.e. go for spas, facials, salons, manicures and pedis). I call them Tai-Tais!!
Tai-Tais are women of leisure. They spend on their husband's hard-earned cash and all day long they'll spend their time beautifying themselves, having hi-teas with their friends, shopping, or perhaps just sitting at home and gossiping with their friends (over tea or on the phone)! But usually these ladies are about 40 and above (where their husbands are CEOs of multinationals and millionaires or billionaires already). However, these days we have the Wannabe Tai-Tais!!! These are the 20 somethings wannabes.....who go around spending, spending, spending without a care in this world!
So wat happens to the household chores and the kids? Errrmmmm....MAIDS!!! Yes they are God's (being their husbands) Gift to these Tai-Tais!! Some demand for Maids so that they can go through their daily routines without having to care about cooking, cleaning, ironing and (to a certain extent) the kids! They'll DIE without the Maid!
Who'll do the dishes? Who'll do the cooking, the ironing, the cleaning? And for those extremists, who's changing the diapers?
AAARRRGGGHHH.... Just frustrates me that these women gets away with ordering their husbands to PROVIDE PROVIDE PROVIDE! And what do they give their husbands in return? For most, they'll devote their attention to the husband when he's around (attending to his EVERY NEEDS)...but for some, this is their answer:
"I'm tired. All day I've been stuck at home - Take me out!"
"I've already given you kids"
"I want more...I want this and that ..."
(amongst the ones I can think of)
Just notice how ungrateful these women can be. Don't they understand that they too have a role to play while the husbands at work?
Oh well....All I can say is that husbands with such wives should voice out their concerns. Do not be afraid to say "No" to your wives (I can THAT ALL THE TIME!!hehehhe...) Lay all your problems on the table, give her the full picture of how hard it is to PROVIDE these days....Not everything is about HER!
Hmmm..........have I gone on a diversion and swayed away from the TOPIC?
Friday, February 02, 2007
Home Alone
I know what you're going to say - "We pamper him too much" - Perhaps we're partly to blame for his attitude at the moment but I'd rather blame it on Latch-Key Syndrome.
I do envy parents (mothers) who do not have to work and become a stay-at-home mother to their children. At least they get to spend more quality time with their kids and monitor the kid's progress. They also get to instil some discipline at home, teaching them right from wrong, and to listen to instructions (orders). Mothering is indeed a full-time job for some mothers and I do wish I get to spend more time with Aemir.
At the moment, instilling some discipline at home is tough. We're only home at nights and perhaps 2 hours from the time he wakes up in the morning (or even less). So by the time we return from work, around 7pm, he starts his fussing, crying and tantrums - basically seeking our FULL attention (until his Bedtime)!
To say NO and scold him is kinda UNFAIR. The child wants some quality time and perhaps wants to show-off his new tricks to his parents, but all they can do is sit watch news, read papers and/or sleep. Sometimes all our energy have been used up on work and there's just not enough to go around entertaining him (which means running after him, carry him (12kg now!!), teasing him, playing with him).
I don't blame him for throwing tantrums when we don't give him attention. He's been stuck at home the whole day with 2 maids (whom he sees EVERYDAY - perhaps he's gotten TIRED of looking at them), no where to go except downstairs (to the playground or around the park - if the weather permits), limited space in the condo for him to explore and this goes on 5 days in a week!
If I was him, I'd be throwing tantrums as well!
But you'd be amazed at what sort of tricks he can show you every day. Once it was somersaulting from the back of our Japanese chair, head first and rolling up front. Next it was switching on and off the computer, the TV and the light switch. Another day it will be "I'm a Doctor" Day, he'll put on his stethescope and check everyone's heartbeat or come out with a cotton bud in his hand to put ointment on your toe (bec he's got a cut on his and that's what we do to him), or he'll take a torch-light and check your ears (just like his doctor would).
Or he'll run around the dining table, hoping you'll notice him and play Catch with him!
It's saddening to see him cry and struggle when you leave for work and when you return home, he'll run to you and give you a BIG BIG HUG, salam and kiss! Awww....
These are the times when I wish I'm a stay-at-home Mother!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Marriage Counsellor
Have you ever cheated on your spouse?
Have you ever counselled someone who's cheated their spouse?
Have you ever counselled someone who's been cheated by their spouse?
Have you ever counselled someone who's cheating on their spouse?
Have you ever been pursuaded to cheat on your spouse?
Has someone ever urged you to cheat on your spouse?
Have you ever pursuaded or urged someone to cheat on their spouse?
As Allah s.a.w is my witness, I have never done any of the above.
I've only heard stories/ real experiences from a third party of the Cheating/Cheated Spouses. This is a Story of "What if" that should happen to me:
SCENE 1: The Victim
If I were to find out that my spouse was cheating on me with someone woman, the first thing I'd do is to confront him with the situation. Before that I shall do my own personal investigation about "the other woman" - who, where she lives, what she does, how they met, when it started.
With that information I can cross-check on whether my spouse is telling the truth during the confrontation. I'd like to find out the reason behind this sudden change of heart. Doesn't he care about the family anymore? Doesn't he love me anymore? Doesn't he realise the consequences of his actions?
Throughout all this, I hope that both parties can sit down and talk about it like humans. Let's hope there weren't be too much shouting and name-calling.
Next, it's decision time.
1. For the Cheater to leave his current family, get better and return to his family after that; or
2. Seek marriage counsellors/Attend counselling sessions.
If the Cheater choose "the other woman" than me,
1. either give permission to marry 2nd wife and keep me as the 1st; or
2. divorce.
I suppose the decision-time is the hardest especially when there are children involved. It's hardest for them than it is for the adults. In the first place, the spouse didn't think about such consequences faced by the children before he acted/decided to cheat on his wife. If it's hurting the wife, it's hurting the children even more.
Scene 2: The Cheater
Usually when one cheats on their spouse, they tend to be very selfish and only think narrowly - their own satisfaction (if it's purely sexual), their well-being and instant happiness (if "the other man" provides better) etc.
They forget whom their cheating on - not only the husband, but also the children. They would have neglected their family and not playing their role as a wife and/or mother. That's why we hardly ever hear about wives cheating on their husbands.....just because women tend to realise the consequences of their actions first before pursuing another relationship. When men cheats, it's usually purely sexual and physical.
But in this case, if I were The Cheater. I'll try not to get caught! Hiding numbers and msgs in the handphones are just too common. I'll hide it in my head! "The other man" must have the following qualities:
1. Handsome, Kind, Caring, Sexy
2. Graduate, Career Man, Loves Children
3. Tolerant, Faithful, Happy-go-lucky
4. Diligent, Street-wise, Patient, Honest, Smart
5. Earns a handsome salary (to provide for my lavish lifestyle)
6. Good religious background
7. Listens to me (most of the time)
8. Good enterprenuerial skills (good soft and hard skills)
(oppss....that all sounds like my husband! Why should I cheat then?)
With "the other man" I must have some 'chemistry' with him and the relationship will not only be sexual or physical. He must have the intellectual capacity for me to interact with him. I can't possibly go out with a "moron", then I'll be one if that happens!
Scene 3: The Counsellor
Counselling "The Cheater":
First, you should never cheat on the spouse!
Find out reasons why that person needed to cheat on their spouse.
In this case, would any reason be valid? Perhaps if the husband was not providing financially, emotionally, physically for the wife, then perhaps it might be a good reason to find another man who can. But in the first place, why marry that 'loser'?
Advice The Cheater to stop seeing or having any contact with "the other man/woman". Reconcile matters with the spouse. Seek counselling if they're encountering problems at home. If The Cheater still loves the spouse, then The Cheater should be willing to do this.
Don't confess to cheating yet. Let the marriage counsellors do their job. Otherwise, more problems will crop up.
Counselling "The Victim":
This is a little bit tricky.
If The Victim has not done his/her personal investigation on "the other man/woman", you must do it for them. If you have proof that a particular number has been called many times from The Cheater's phone, then call that number. Disguise yourself to find out about the person on the other line. This should instill some fear in "the other man/woman" and it's sure indication that someone has found out about the affair!
If the Victim has done his/her homework, then get then to confront and talk about the situation together. Yelling, screaming and throwing things is not necessary - at the expense of the children (if any). Try to do it when the children are not around (if you still feel the need to scream and shout) - just be considerate when you live in flats/condominiums .....walls can be thin!
Next get them to visit a marriage counsellor.
Your job should stop there.
If they decide the marriage is over, then get them a good divorce lawyer! (hahahhah....)
Counselling "The Cheating":
Hmmm.....if you're "the other man/woman" and you find out the person you're with is already married, you can play a role and advice them to stop this vice.
If they have a sob story - i.e. their husband/wife is not treating them right, doesn't love them anymore, can't talk to them - they're most probably LYING!
Do your own homework before pursuing a relationship with this person. Find out who they are, what they do etc...don't just believer everything that comes out of their mouths.
Do you want to be a Home-Wrecker?
No matter how rich that Cheater is and how well he/she treats you and how tempting the 'gifts', sex, attraction etc...may be....it's just WRONG to ruin someone else's life at the expense of your happiness. Most likely you will find another person like that but UNMARRIED!
Scene 4: "The Pursuasee" (one who's been pursuaded)
You call that person you pursuaded you to cheat YOUR FRIEND?
No true friend would come up to you and ask you: "Haven't you ever thought of cheating on your spouse?"
Even if that friend is a Cheater, he should never pursuade you to do the same. As a good friend, he should advice you NOT to cheat and instead work out the problems you have in your marriage before thinking of cheating.
Lay out all the CONS of Cheating....Sorry but there's nothing "PRO" about cheating.
In the first place, why are you so naive to believe that Cheating is OK? Think about it....how many people will get hurt as a result of your selfish actions. Do you really want to hurt the ones you love?
Even if you've LOVED (in the past tense) that person before, I'm sure a good reasonable person would not intentionally hurt that person you've loved before.
Think before you Act!
Scene 5: "The Pursuader"
Why do you have to get other people involved in your vice?
Do you think that everyone needs to Cheat on their spouse?
Do you think you're setting a good precedent/example for others to follow?
If you Cheat, do it at your own time. Brag about it all you want with your friends but NEVER pursuade them to do the same. That's just wrong!!
Don't sway them with the wrong reasons! They might have had a good family relationship going but for your pursuasiveness to cheat on their spouse.
If you don't Cheat but just love to sway them into it....ARE U SICK? I think you need counselling. Do you like seeing your friends suffer in relationship problems while you laugh behind the scene? I definitely think you're SICK to even think about doing that - no matter what your reasons are - e.g. for revenge - ruining people's lives is VERY WRONG!
There are other ways to "get back" at people.....(but of course no way is the correct way!)
Ladies & Gentlemen,
Please do not Cheat or be pursuaded to Cheat on your spouse!
Think carefully before doing so.
Think of all the people you're going to hurt in the process.
Think think think...God gave you BRAINS for a REASON!
SEEK HELP if you fall in any of the categories (Professional Help is ADviced!
**Disclaimer: All advice is of personal opinion only and should not be followed strictly. I have not experienced any of the above. You should seek professional counselling or professional medical help if symptoms persist.

