7 Years On....

Anniversaries...Birthdays....Christmas....New Year....It's December AGAIN!!

What's it all to me this year?

Blank Blank Blank

What's it all to me every year?

Blank Blank Blank

I feel numb and that's the way I feel each December. But this year it's complete abyss!

December has disappointed me many years now. It has not brought me wishes. It has not brought me joy. Instead it has brought me rage, anger, sadness and complete abyss.

The moment I have an inkling of hope that perhaps...(just maybe perhaps) this year would be different, I get disappointed again.

So this year, instead of feeling "hopeful" and "dreamy" and "wishful"...I'd rather remain NUMB.

That way, nothing can hurt me. That way, I feel less disappointed and more contented.

That way, I acknowledge that December means nothing to me for the last 5 years!

That way, even ordinary routine on a special day wouldn't seem soooo bad!

That way, even a meal at a mediocre restaurant (that we've been to many many many times before) would be enough to satisfy my tummy!

That way, I don't have to stress myself about buying gifts since I'm reciprocrating what I'm receiving!

That way, we shall come to an understanding that December is now meaningless to me!

That way, nobody needs to stress about what gifts to get, how much they can spend, how much they ought to spend etc.!

That way, I can focus on spending on groceries and marketing and make everyone happy!

That way...is possibly the way this December will end up!

Kudos to December....what shall New Year bring?!!

h.y.p.o.c.r.i.s.y

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies (competitors) closer"

Somehow you can never trust someone completely. Always have reservations about a person save and except your family members. I usually can sense hypocrites miles away but not this one. I know she's a potential threat and immensely sly when it comes to competition. But didn't think that she would react that way. I suppose survival instincts show that - you must do whatever to survive in this world even if it means losing a friend.

Friend? Is that who I am to her? How do you expect me to be her friend? How do you expect me to keep friends like that?

I thought you were sincere. I thought you were honest. I thought you were honourable.

From what I hear, you are foolish, unwise, and a wrecker. No wonder your life is not peaceful!

It's not 'healthy competition' if you rope your helpers and leave us with none. It's not healthy if you poke your nose into other people's business. It's not healthy if you under-cut or short-changed us.

Then you can advice me to be patient??!!

Thanksss...it was nice knowing you. It was worth knowing you....

Good luck and hope you find happiness in your life!

Proud mother!

You know when you're doing things right as a parent when......the School Calls with Good News!!

SMART School called.

2 weeks back our dear Aemir sat for a Basic Entrance Test. It was a 1 1/2 hour paper but our boy finished & handed in his paper after 30mins! I'm not sure if he's too confident about it but when the father returned to the exam hall, discovered he was not on his desk, the father told him to check his paper again!!! Check 5 mins & DONE!!!

It was hilarious and worrying at the same time.

Today I received a delightful call and was told that he excelled in all 3 papers (English, BM & Maths). Basically he scored all As for his test! And he has been accepted at the school for next year.....and a letter of offer shall follow suit before the school holidays informing us when to get his uniform and books for next year.

WOW!!! Looks like lots of expenditure before he starts school.

And plenty of white/black shoes to get!!

Whatever it is, I'm so happy for him....and I know he's a smart boy - although playful most of the time!

Congrats my boy!

They are Hitched

My buddy and I go a loooonnnggg loooonnnngggg way and we do manage to "find" time to catch up with things (twice a year...maybe 3x - which is sad!). Nevertheless we do know what the other has been up to, EXCEPT the moment she got "hitched"

It was good news for me to hear that she got engaged but months later I get an invitation to their reception....hmmmm still thinking that it's their wedding reception, I was honoured to attend. Then after much investigation, I discovered that they got hitched 2 months backs (without telling me!!!!!)

DARN!! DARN!! DARN!!! I have no qualms about it because I'm soooo very happy for her!!!! It's the moment I've been waiting for ....and after (??) boyfriends, finally she met someone but unfortunately I've never met him till this day. I guess he doesn't want to meet me either. Anyways, to be invited for her post-wedding reception is already a 'gift'....EXCEPT that it'll be at a BAR!

If only the invitation came earlier - before my transformation, I wouldn't be scratching my head thinking of how to dress for the occasion and how people would respond to a hijaber entering a BAR!!

I gotta get all the fashion magazines out so that I won't feel out of place for the occasion!

And now they are "hitched"...can't wait for the babies to 'pop' (although they claim they don't want any)...

congratulations buddy!

"H.I.J.A.B.E.R.S"

As you know, I've just recently started wearing the hijab ...and recently I've learned that my cousin has followed suit....(*smiles* I'm not alone here!)

A few days ago, I just learned of an icon and blogger called Maria Elena and also discovered who Hana Tajima is. (Forgive me....I'm just a late bloomer)

It is interesting to know and compare experiences of first-time 'hijabers' (which is the term used by youngsters these days). Reading Maria's blog, I see similar experiences that I have faced and am facing lately.

1. Unrecognisable
     I can walk around in the office unnoticed! Pretty much invincible because people have not gotten used to this new image walking around. Then, when I greet clients, they have a weird look on their face - trying hard to think where they've seen this face before. It won't click until I mention my name.

2. The Treatment
Yup! People treat you differently. I've been called "Puan Sri" "Ustazah" ...bowed at with respect (as though I'm some big shot Menteri)....And then there's the "Alhamdulillah" and "Masya Allah" and "Subhanallah"....(semualah keluar). But how do you respond to such reactions from people around you? I can't say "Enough! It's only a piece of cloth covering my head"
I can't say "Oh shut up! I've heard it before" or even "Gotta problem with it?"

So my response so far has been...smile, nod, giggle, walk away...
Only because I don't know if theire reactions are sincere and complimentary or perhaps in awe and disgust! Who knows rite?

But I do which people would treat me indifferently. Just because I am now a hijaber doesn't me my entire nature HAS to change. I know I can't be showing off too much skin and wearing skin-tight clothes. I know I have to watch my mannerisms....don't offer to shake hands with everybody - must be careful! (This a bit difficult to judge...men usually don't offer to shake you hands if they see you wearing tudung. But I believe to be professional it is ok to greet someone (even a male) by shaking their hands...Nonetheless, there's no strict rule about it!)

3. The Styles



butikpinkku.blogspot.com



I am glad that I have been complimented on the way I wear my hijab (lilit the selendang..). I'm blessed to be lilit-inclined and have learned it through Youtube. Thanks to all the Youtubers for uploading your tutorials especially FaraButikpinkku.

I have also turned to Dara Magazine monthly for various styles and tudung fashion.

At the end of the day, it depends on how creative you are when wearing your tudung. As long as the basics are there, I doubt you can go wrong.

And unlike people that wear the ready-to-wear-tudung or tudung express with the awning, I think I'm better off with the selendangs, bawals and pashmina because I can never get bored. Also it's the only range that I can afford at the moment.

Everyday I get this "How do you lilit your tudung?"

"Starts from here, pin here and you go round & round pin again DONE....selalu ikut citarasa sendiri!!"

To be honest, it doesn't take too long to discover your own style (one that you're comfortable with) for work and weekends you can mengada-ngada try other styles if you want!

With designers like Hana Tajima, you'll definitely be inspired by her creations. Sleek and simple - just like her Japanese descent.

InsyaAllah, I hope to be closer to Allah s.a.w by wearing the hijab & bertutup aurat.

The fashion & styles come secondary....

In fact, I do hope that I can introduce these ladies here about different styles (got some offers already!).

xoxo...Happy Trying!

NEWS FLASH: "Shocking Reasons why Malaysians are Living Beyond their Means"

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/9/22/nation/9550278&sec=nation

The Star Newspaper today revealed a "shocking" survey about why Malaysians are living beyond their means..

They wronged the people for not managing their finances well.

I find even the Headlines shocking...It has shocked me that they are ONLY JUST discovering this habit from Malaysians. It is the culture in Malaysia to lepak at the malls....ONLY because there are soo many to choose from. Then they complain that students from schools and colleges hang out at the malls, passing their time away doing absolutely nothing except watching passer-bys and causing a social havoc. Can you suggest any other places they can go to for entertainment or socialising?

In Europe you find many many many parks that are big, clean, "green" (especially) and welcoming to hang out. Even to have a picnic under the shady tree. If you complain that it's the weather, then after 3pm is pretty ideal to have a picnic in the park - get some fresh air, read a book, fly a kite, play ball.....But are there any decent parks around for us to do that? If there are, then are Malaysians keen to have a picnic at the park?

I find that Malaysians are too afraid of the sun and heat that they tend to have activities indoors. An afternoon at the park (if you provide) may be the last thing on their minds. And if couples go to parks, they religious departments will create a stirr and accuse them of khalwat. If they are non-Muslims then, there can be no such public display of affection.

Then how about entertainment parks? Theme parks? Berjaya has created an indoor theme park but how well is it patronised? It's a social stigma amongst parents of secondary school children to allow their kids to go there. Simply because they are not behaving well at such places. It's not the same excitement for an indoor theme park and an outdoor one. Even I wouldn't dream of going there.

The next outdoor theme park is either Sunway or Genting. I think most of us have gone there at least once. But you can never go there too many times since it gets boring and costly.

In short, Malls and Supermarkets are the only places that caters to our weekend entertainment especially since there're so many to choose from.

In the article, it addresses the issue of credit card debts. I'm afraid this is on the onus of the card-user. Anyone who does not monitor their expenses using credit cards can be a victim of credit card debts. This I have to blame the banks....for making it too easy to approve credit cards to those who can't really afford it. Perhaps limiting their credit limit to below RM5000 according to their income. Banks allow these financially incapable individuals to fall prey to own too many credit cards.

In my opinion, the moment you swipe your credit card worth more than you can pay, you are on your way to being a bankrupt!!

Another astonishing discovery is:

“In one of our surveys, we were shocked that many children did not even know where money came from,” he said, adding that most replied “the ATM (automated teller machine).

“And, they do not believe that their parents have to work to earn money,” Selvaraj added.

- from The Star

SERIOUSLY?!!! Why aren't children made aware of where money comes from?
They don't grow on trees and they certainly don't just come out of ATMs. I feel sorry for these children and even more so for their parents for not teaching them the essence of financial management at a young age.

Children must be taught that money doesn't come easily. These days parents just throw money like it's nothing....everything buy buy  buy!

There comes a point when parents need to step up and tell their children that money spent is hard-earned money from your own sweat and blood.

Last time it was easier to picture a parent working hard to earn a living because they are labourers and you can literally see & smell their sweat when they work or after they return from work. Today, most parents are executives in offices and the only sweat they produce is when they walk to their cars at the carpark. Children don't see how hard you work...it's difficult for them to visualise it these days.

So, Malaysians, let's change the way we entertain ourselves and let's be a little bit more thrifty when it comes to spending. Ask yourself if you really really really need it.....and adopt a 'recycling' attitude from now on!

Good luck..

Transformer

You'd think it's the effect of Transformers 3: The Dark Moon. Or perhaps it's the effect of all the dramas that I've been following...

I think it is genuine and I believe Allah s.a.w. has 'spoken' and led me to a virtuous path of rightousness (must check dictionary) ....

The Holy Month of Ramadan has led me back to the right path..has answered "someone's" prayers for me to turn over a fresh leaf. (I use the term 'fresh' because there's nothing new about me except the way I look)

I have learned to embrace the idea of wearing a hijab. It has lingered in my head for a while but I have never been brave enough to wear it. I do not want to jump straight into the idea because I need to adjust to a different way of living...a change in lifestyle and habits.

I don't know why it's such a gender-biased notion that one who wears a hijab must act a certain manner. Even I fall prey to such notions and admit that I snigger at the sight of a couple (woman with hijab & a guy) holding hands and cuddling in public, but I seem to allow such events to occur if the woman is hijab-less. WHY?!! WHY?!! WHY?!!!

Also, there are certain places that women with hijabs do not patronise...like lounges or the bars. Fine!!! They sell alcohol but some restaurants sell alcohol there's no stigmas if one patronises such places. I guess hijabs and vices do not get along!

So, there's a whole new world for me to explore and I can only see it through the eyes of a hijab-wearing individual. Even people view and treat me differently. I do not think I've changed as a person - personality-wise. I do not think I am capable of such transformation at that level but people seem to think that just because I wear a hijab now, I am not lively and bubbly like I used to be.

Not only that, people seem to stare at me in awe. Act less wild and erratic...some even question what made me decide to wear a hijab.

I'd just like to clarify that...NOTHING MADE me want to wear a hijab. I did not go through a 'traumatic' experience. I don't think anyone needs to go through such a phase in life. I doubt I am going through an identity crisis or a mid-life crisis. Honestly, it just felt right and the time is right to wear the hijab. It suits me, I'm comfortable and Alhamdulillah I have no complaints (so far hehehhe)

I do hate it when people think I'm now "nice". OH PLEASE!!! Clearing the air again, I am the same person you know a month back....I am loud, crazy, and just the way I am. I don't think wearing a hijab should make me act any different...BUT someone people expect me to.

If only a shawl could do such magic and make the devil into an angel...That Shawl must be the hottest selling item in town!!

It's bullshit if u say "A hijab-wearing person is more well-mannered than a hijab-less person"

I started as a hijab-less person...and a hijab doesn't even make u a better person...it just LEADS u to be a better person because society expects you to potrait yourself as a better person. It's up to the individual to be a better person and it should be what the society expects or determine.

Hijab or NOT I am the same!!

I must say I love it because I don't have to blow-dry my hair every morning...(tiresome)

but I do have to iron my shawl EVERY morning (also tiresome)....NO DIFFERENCE!!!



Surprised? I think I look kurus!!!



My left profile is BEST!

My right profile is SEDUCTIVE?!!

Oooo......



Is it MY CALLiNG?!!

MIRACLES OF RAMADHAN

One does not realise the "gifts" Allah s.a.w. brings us this Holy Month of Ramadhan until.....

you begin to see a Transformation from 'Uncovered' to 'Covered'!

Same Old Me

Same Me Uncovered

I used to think that it will take a lot of rebelling and persuading before I decide to take a "BIG" step to "Cover" myself. But God works in miracles and I can sense that my transformation or hijrah towards the Hijab will be a smooth transition. I'd like it to be a smooth transition because I think I still fear that I may not be ready for that "BIG Step"...and should I choose to embark on that journey, there's no looking back (even though it's for the best!)

I also fear that my personality will not suit the image that I will potrait. It's always been a gender issue that a 'covered' girl must act a certain way ["..bersopan...ayu...baik ...rajin solat etc.."] In fact I will persevere to be THAT kind of girl but like any transformation it will take time. On the other hand, I have come across many 'covered' people who behave even worse than I. Therefore, I am glad that at least, I am true to myself and am only embarking on this New-found journey because I AM READY!

Anyway, these days, the Muslimah fashion industry has boomed and has created many different styles and designs to suit each individual character. I am glad that I received my 'calling' now....but even more so that I received it before it is too LATE!

I also know that for those people who know me, they will question and wonder what happened? What made me decide to "cover-up"? In short, "Nothing MADE me decide, I just decided it was time."

I know many people who have transitioned and they are still the same person they were before. It's not the appearance or the attire that makes the individual. It's the person himself, all body and soul that makes the person that you are.

I also know that I'll be subjected to lots of criticisms and hope that there's more Good than Bad. I have been called "makcik" whilst wearing a hijab but on the other hand, I have been called "adik". So like a coin, there are 2 sides of the story. You can hate me for 'covering' up or you can respect my decision for covering-up. At the end of the day, only I can decide which way to lead my own life.

Having said that, I am not willing to take a GIANT LEAP...instead, I will take teeny-weeny steps, little baby steps, tip-toes..... before a FULL TRANSFORMATION!!! Wish me luck and May Allah give me strength to face anything that comes in my way. Amin.



Targeted New Look

Still a Yummy Mummy?!

Israk & Mikraj - 27 Rejab : A Wake-Up Call

Today is a very important day for all Muslims since it represents the calling of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w to meet Allah s.w.t and the beginnings of umat-umat Rasulullah.

I have learned of this historical day from my own Ustaz when I was younger but due to the influence of Western culture..I admit ...that I have forgotten what this day meant for all Muslims. Therefore, it is a wake-up call for me. Alhamdulillah I hope I am not too late to realise that I must be a good Muslim.

Also as a mother, I must adopt a good Muslim culture at home and educate and raise my children to be good Muslims as well. I have limited knowledge of Islamic teachings and I only know what I learned at school, from my parents and teachers. I hope I can impart whatever knowledge I have to my children - at least they learn something from me. If I err in some areas, I hope that someone can correct me.

I should read to my children about the historical events of Islam - like my grandma used to read to me. I found interest in it then because I wasn't so influenced by the west.

I hope to leave my western lifestyle and lead life as a good Muslim - even dress like one.

Insya Allah, I hope this Wake Up Call will be taken seriously as I do not want it to be too late and regret it later on.

Amin



When it ALL comes Crashing Down!!

LIFE  .... One cannot predict what Life brings us. A moment of happiness and lifetime of togetherness can come crashing down in an instant. But we cannot allow ourselves to be swept away in "the darkness" because there's always tomorrow as long as the sun shines in the morning. We cannot allow anyone to blame us for "the darkness"...the dark clouds that hangs above us...We must always rise and shine again - just like the sun - and hope for a better tomorrow, a new beginning and a clearer future.

When a child has been taken, it cannot be your fault

When a child has been taken, do not be sad

On the other side, someone is joyously waiting

Allah s.a.w sees the BIGGER picture - and must truly love that child!

How is it your fault when one looses a child?

Did you cause the accident? Did you bring bad luck?

Did someone make it look like you caused the accident?

Did someone make sure you do not enjoy the happiness you deserve?

Did someone wish for  this to happen?

Did you wish for this to happen?

...MANY questions linger in your mind but Who can tell you the correct answer?

NOBODY!!

You can spend the rest of your life regretting and blaming yourself for what happened but you will never find peace with yourself that way. You can always say this Life was not meant for you...and you will never find harmony.

At this hour of remorse, nobody can find the right words to say...Fear to make another step will leave you in regret forever. If LOVE is what you're looking for and if LOVE is what you've found, never be afraid to LEAP - regardless of the people around you.

But TO LEAP requires the correct MOMENT! LEAPING forward without LOOKING, without DIRECTION, lands you in Abyss...

Some things cannot be Rushed...Some things take time to Nurture and Grow...just like a seedling requiring Tender Loving Care. Show your support, emphatise and be patient...even at the expense of yourself ....Try not to look back....Consider your 'reverse' mode irreparable...Ensure you also have support to keep you thriving...And when it has Matured...you know THE TIME IS RIGHT!

Embarrassment always comes together in situations like this. However, it is not time for you to surrender...People talk People assume People exaggerate and...People also FORGET! Just like you, they need time to see the bigger picture....soon they will forget and that's when we start Forgiving.

Today may be the Worst day in Your Life...
But as each day passes by
Today will seem petty

Be Strong. Be Patient. Be Wise. BE-LIEVE!!

p/s: To All that have faced being Jilted & Grieving. You have not run out of time!

End of Nora Saga

No more Nora Elena......THE END!!

If I hadn't watched the last episode before watching the entire series from the beginning, I think I would have cried buckets of water!!

Nonetheless, everyone agreed that it was a very good series and I think if I ever need reminding of how to appreciate my Man more.....I don't have to read that book my Man bought for me, I need to just watch the middle bits of NE!!

Sometimes we take people for granted but we should never deliberately take our loved ones for granted. They are the pillars of our strengths and success. They are there when we are in need - whether in health or in wealth. Without them, we are just rubbles on a construction site - waiting to be crushed some more, dumped somewhere or re-used.

I have learned and this series has proved to me that - No matter what, No matter where, It's also home if Love is there!!

Just perservere for something/ someone that you LOVE.....

Time will tell whether they've earned your LOVE

And soon....they will LOVE you in return!



The Nora Addiction

Have you stayed at home one weekday and watched one of the housewives drama telecast on our local tv channels? Usually it comes on from 2.30pm to 6-7pm...and they run consecutively.

When I was a "temp-housewife", I was hooked to an Indonesian Sinetron called Intan. I even got round to getting my husband hooked to it because they have re-runs at 11pm at night too. Unlike the Sinetrons, our locally produced drama only has at the most 40episodes!! hehehhe....

Of course now that I'm working, there's no chance of following these dramas religiously! ....until one day when I was home on leave, I happened to be sitting down at around 7pm doing nothing and tuned in to TV3....and watch Episode 1 of Nora Elena - starring Siti Saleha & Aaron Aziz.

I like her acting from Ustaz Amirul  and his acting from the Singaporean production Triple9. Nonetheless they make such a sweet couple even though in reality, there's a vast difference in age!

This drama tells the story of a village girl who was raped when she was 15 by one of the kampung boys. She befriended a Malay-Chinese girl who had a brother (Seth) and when she moved away from the village, they all lost touch. Fate brought them back together and after 10 years of searching Seth found Nora (the love of his life). It wasn't as easy as that because it's also a story of unrequited love, the love triangle & jealousy exes.

Thank god for TontonTV (http://www.tonton.com.my/ ), I can view all episodes during my free time. Unfortunately, I am hooked to it and can't wait to finish the series.

Watching Nora Elena, I wonder to myself:

• Is there such a man who loves this woman like Seth?
• Seth's love for Nora is beyond this world without the "guilt factor" which comes with it. Right?
• Would any woman sacrifice her happiness for her family's dignity?
• Would I marry a man I didn't love?
• Do I treat my man like he ought to be treated?
• Does my man treat me like I ought to be treated?
• How long can one maintain the passion in a marriage?
• Does or Can the passion fade away?
• Is it possible to be in "honeymoon mode" forever?

Hahahahhaha...Call it my La-La Land when I watch NE....but it also brings tears to anyone who can relate to the story line.

Perhaps my next task is to find the novel it's been adapted from entitled "Kasih Yang Suci".

Till my next entry on NE....

When the Shoe was More Important...

Tired after a day's work I received a call....

"I brought the wrong shoe. Can you send the correct one to me?"

It sounded important and despite being tired, I rounded the kids and we all got in the car to send the shoe. I roughly knew where it was...but at night, dark & tired....when I got to the place, I just couldn't seem to find it. Nevertheless, we went round the block 3-4 times...in and out dark alleys...and when I reached out for my BB....

Damn...Low Battery...Can't call out/ Receive calls!!

That's the problem with BB. When you battery is a certain %, you can't call out or receive any calls. Not even SMS anyone!!! Pretty dangerous is you ask me. And this is not the first time that I HAD to make an IMPORTANT call and my BB died on me!!!

After about 1 hour of making our rounds, I decided to call it quits. The kids too were disappointed but I can't help it. The longer we wait, the more frustrated we'll get.

When I got back - pretty exhausted...I was told that I received a call about the shoe not arriving after 1 hour of waiting. That's exactly what I thought would happen.

I told my son to return the call and I don't know what transpired in the conversation but I received a call within minutes on my handphone screaming...

"Why you so stupid? If you dunno the place, why didn't bring your handphone..."

"Stupid?!! You're the stupid one!!"  and I hung up!

I refused to be yelled at simply because I tried to do a good deed but ended up being called "stupid" without even hearing my explanation out first!

Seriously....he's more worried about the shoe arriving on time that his family. After 1 hour not arriving with (or without) the shoe, naturally one would wonder whether anything could have happened (i.e. accident or mugged or punctured tyres) but the God-damned shoe was more important !

Too important that I got yelled at for making him wait 1 hour and the game was over by then. I bet it's only because he was embarrassed amongst his colleagues that showed his own stupidity!

Seriously...now I can the Silent Treatment...for doing a good deed , getting lost with kids, making 3-4 rounds of the place, distressed because I can't call out......

Well I,too, can play that game!! We'll see who lasts longer!

Movie Review - The King's Speech

Cast: Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Geoffrey Rush

I didn't expect anything much from this movie - looking at its dull title, with an overwhelmingly good cast - I thought I'd give this movie a try.

Surprisingly, it wasn't as dull as its title and not as boring as I was warned. I suppose you MUST watch it when you're fresh and ready to "eat" lots of words!

I sat there watching it with my son and we were both enthused by the movie and Colin's spectacular performance mimicking the stuttering King George.

It was a moving story that went beyond words since you don't realise that a King needs to give many speeches during his reign as King and one needs to be authoritative to show POWER!

Colin certainly did that.

Recommend: **** A film to watch and well deserved Oscar nomination

Where has the Weekend gone??

Some weekends you plan to do many things, get soooo many things done and then Monday appears and you wonder "Where has the Weekend gone?"

This weekend I did have many things planned - like waking up early and taking the kids for pancakes at McDonalds. Do some grocery shopping and make sure we hit some balls at the driving range....but ended up doing.....?????

Woke up late (the whole household), planned to go for late pancakes but diverted to showrooms at Cheras. No pancakes for lunch but HK Kuey Teow instead. Went to sis-in-laws' - kids played with each other while adults sat down and chit-chat. Bid farewell to Lil Sis-in-law before her return to her new country. And got home, felt ill & took a nap!

Next morning, got up and went grocery shopping, went for lunch + shopping w kids. Hubby ended up shopping and kids got themselves a book each. Myself personally, I didn't shop (again!!! no surprise) At night, sat down to watch a HBO movie with kids until their bedtime (in between entertaining Daughter with her new sticker storybook) Then put on "Burlesque" in my room....until half-way Hubby wanted to watch Arsenal match!

Now I'm wondering - where has my weekend gone? I certainly didn't feel anything I did was productive / therapeutic.

We'll see the next weekend

THE NEW CHAPTER - Ep 1

End of 2010: December

It's been 2 months since we returned from UK. Hello Malaysia!! And already you can sense the pressure that is expected of us.

Dealing with Traffic:

It was horrifying on my first drive on Malaysian roads - yet AGAIN! Well....compared to the courteous, law-abidding drivers in UK - it is the complete opposite here. It was stressful from the moment you put your gear into D!

Somewhat like the cartoons you watch on Cartoon Network...cars swerving left right and center...everyone's in a rush....and NOT signalling! Overtaking left and right....NOT signalling!! Beating the lights....motorcyclists included!! And pedestrians J-walking everywhere!!! Of course we have an abundance of motorcyclists around compared to UK....and they are the most hazardous of the lot! I probably have to double check (triple check) everytime I want to switch lanes...JUST IN CASE...some unknown motorcyclist decides to overtake me, or squeeze in between cars. Next comes owners in 'little cars' like our Peroduas (the Kancil, the MyVi, the Kelisa....u name it!!) Any God forsaken 'little car' on the road is a sign of DANGER!!! Just like the motorcyclists, they loving squeezing between us big cars....and drive onto any road they can go through. Leave a space and u find a 'little car'!!!

Not forgetting our pedestrians who think that they can cross any road as they please....You wonder if they intentionally want to get HIT! Don't they love their lives? Are they on a mission to TEST us drivers?

It used to be that moving cars are PEST!! But now the scene has moved on into the parking lots. Again the culprits are 'little cars' and motorcyclists!!! Drive into a secured parking lot and you think people park decently in the yellow boxes???? INSTEAD...it's like a wholesale market of car parking indiscriminately anywhere they can fit their can into a space. THANK GOD...for some common sense they try not to obstruct oncoming traffic!!

Between beams of parking lots....(often not a designated parking space) at the curbside, ON the curbside......under ramps, along the ramps....u name it ...u find it!!! No matter how many CLAMPING ZONE signboards around, these drivers do not fear their vehicles being clamped for parking indiscriminately!!! Even signboards saying CLAMPING operational for 24 hours do not scare them....perhaps RM100 is not a high enough FINE?!!! Or they know the authorities do not REALLY operate for 24 hours...and they don't REALLY have enough clamps to go around!!!

Arrrggghhhh.....What's the use of all these LAWS when everyone breaks them and no one enforces them?

Responsibilities:

The moment we got back....we got a whole load more responsibilities to carry on our shoulders. Now it's no longer JUST THE 4 of US!!! It is the WHOLE FAMILY (plus extended generations)!!!

The marketing for household back to me. The cleaning and washing and cooking...back to me. I'm not talking about our 3 bedroom house.....small enough for 1 person to look after....the rooms have tripled and the people to feed have tripled as well!! The mess has probably quadrapled (if not more)!!!

That's only 1/4 of the story & responsibilities!!! Let's not start about those outside the house proper. Relatives, parents, in-laws, siblings, grandparents, nieces, nephews, aunties, uncles.......Is that why the Europeans move out at 18-21? Once married they only worry about their own family? I once despised that attitude but sometimes there is some logic in that. However, as Asians, we have been raised into an integrated family ...and everything we do is AS A FAMILY!!! (inclusive of all extended family members) It's more FUN!!!

Don't get me wrong! I LOVE MY FAMILY & all its EXTENSIONS! But please, lift some of our burden and spread "the love"!

Nonetheless, the responsibilities are in abundance and shared amongst us!!!

Could just be too much to handle at the moment?

End of February 2011:

We've celebrated New Years' and have just welcomed the Year of the Rabbit!

Work has started for everyone - including the children. Hubby has secured a job (of which - into his 2nd month, he's still unsure if he wants to stay but boasts about his boss and clients). I have started my pupillage - which has its ups & downs - depending on the workload that I get.

Kids started school and enjoying the company of their friends. Son has developed and caught up with all his friends very fast. His schedule is ultra-busy every week and yet he leaves no time for rest over the weekend. I fear that he may not enjoy his childhood as he should. Daughter is picking up the Malay language fast. I'm sure she can soon form a sentence without an English word in it. She already understands Malay pretty well so we can't speak of her in Malay anymore.

Back to the question - Are we happy?

The start was a bit rough for everyone but we've overcomed it and gotten used to our routine...and I dare say we're happy (the Asian Family-kinda-way)

By that I mean, non-stop parenting and dedication. We struggle when it comes to dealing with the unexpected but at the end of the day, we continue doing what we do best - Being a Family! Weekends are now strictly for us to spend time with the Kids! If it means taking them out for a meal, I'll do it....if it means just taking them out (even if it is to the Car Wash) i'll do it because I know they need time with me!

So no matter what, I reserve my weekends with my Kids!

The Beginning of THE NEW CHAPTER

Obviously it's been ages since I wrote in this blog....which simply means that I have lots of stories to tell.

Going by the Blog title "Where stories Never End"......This New Chapter embarks upon a journey filled with joy, laughter, ambition, stress, worries....and much more! Life itself will have no meaning without all the jumbled-up emotions that we face, experience and overcome each day.

Taking baby steps out into the urban jungle... I brave myself to face the challenges that lie ahead! With many unexpected events, it will not only make me stronger, but definitely make me WISER!

2009-2010: My Disappearance

It was a very BIG decision to move to UK. The family, the kids, the husband - the sacrifice that each of us had to make. Leaving the loved ones behind, we embarked on an adventure to the other side of the world - The United Kingdom!

Off we went to relocate at Bristol. We based ourselves about 10mins away from the university...and 30mins from the Florence of England - BATH. We settled in pretty quickly...scouted for nurseries around the area and found 2 ideal ones for each kid. Even though they were separated during the day, they still remained the closest of buddies at other times. Despite their rows and disputes, they still look for each other in times of need. That's how we raised them - the great sibling bonding!

Nonetheless, they settled in the fastest. IT was all a great adventure for them - new experience, culture, friends and routine. No doubt it was toughest for us parents and even tougher for their father. Mother feels blessed to have such an understanding person for a partner. (Aren't I fortunate?)

We were very happy - just the 4 of us - without all the complications of extended families & intrusions into our personal lives. All we had to do was take care of ourselves ; our family (the 4 of us). Then there was a 5th person - the youngest grandma in the family - that joined us for 6 mths. How blessed Mother feels again that she has help at home....and especially to mind her kids. (Aren't I fortunate?) Upon reflection, I couldn't have done it without them!!

So now it was the 5 of us ...and still things are no complicated. Life was SIMPLE!! No great expectations and overburdens ...and stressing about other people...All we had to do was take care of 5 of us!! WE WERE HAPPY!

Indeed we had less quarrels and more comprising....the communication was better....the kids even had time to see Father and PLAY with him. There was plenty of laughter at home...Life was SIMPLE! No doubt we felt like newlyweds AGAIN!

Every moment spent in UK will always be cherished forever. Indeed....we also owe it to our favourite person - Nanny. Nanny made us feel at home abroad. Nanny made us feel welcomed...fed us with all the English food she could cook. Sonny's fav was her Roast Lamb! Nanny's visits to us - though a few - put smiles across the kids' face!!! They entertained her to their heart's content; and Nanny never failed to disappoint them!! Nanny exposed them to British culture...their 1st Xmas, their 1st snowfall, their 1st Roast!!! We love Nanny!

Of course there were times when we struggled...it wasn't just Mother or Father...everyone faced their dull moments. But we overcomed it with Love and Support from each other.

It was sad to leave our Britannia Crescent (No.13) = where the kids cycled around the neighbourhood, where we had snowball fights & rode on sledges, where we mowed the garden together, where we shovelled the snow together, where we cooked, bathed, ate and froze together......Goodbye Bristol!

Hello Malaysia! And how has it been? What has changed? Are we happy?

Mummy Diaries #6

PHOTOS THAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR

Mummy Diaries #5

Aemir is now 3 years old.
Ameera is now 6mths old.

Both adore each other - the brother being very protective of the little sister and the little sister learning new things from the big brother.

All is fair and well in our household except that we're saying good-bye to the old helper and welcoming a new one into the house. This means there will be a lot of adjusting especially with the kids getting used a new face around the house.

As for me, motherhood is really taking a toll on my health. I forget to eat (which is quite good because I've lost 10lbs since September) and I lack sleep....although I try taking short naps in the afternoon.

I'm glad there's another pair of hands to help around the house so that I can concentrate on my EU Law.

Perhaps I shall drop a line soon - since I have my own laptop now.

Have fun......Happy Hari Raya & Happy Deepavali to all!

Mummy Diaries #4

Abang Aemir

"Abang Aemir" ...he's gotten used to being called Abang now since his teacher calls him the same. I guess it's the sign of being all grown-up.

Aemir's now potty training and the first week was TOUGH. At school, at home - all we did was clean up after him UNTIL I got really MAD and threatened to send him to the police station if he pees in his pants again.

I was very sure that he knows when he needs the loo but just can't be bothered to run and pee in his potty. So like a dog he pees anywhere and everywhere. What a pain! Then I made a deal with him that if he doesn't pee in his pants again, I'll get him whatever he wants at ToysRUs.

Finally he had enough scolding and he got better and better. Even the teacher praised him because he knows how to pulls down and put on his pants as well. Now during the day he only wears BRIEFS! (That saves me a lot of money on pampers!! That was the whole idea - with all the inflation & stuff)

Sometimes when we go out he promised that he'll be a "good boy" and puts on his briefs instead of his pampers. And he did it! We went to the supermarket with him wearing only his briefs and he only peed when we got home (in the toilet)!! I hope he didn't hold it that entire time.....i fear he'll get kidney stones or something.

Besides that Aemir has learned how to surf the internet. Even though he doesn't know how to read yet but pictures on the Yahoo! websites that he recognises he'll click on them. I now have to watch what he clicks on. Oh!! He knows how to switch on the computer on his own as well and turn off. Close page, open page, minimise and maximise page. He learns all that through observing us use the computer. AND HE'S NOT EVEN 3 YEARS OLD YET!!!!

Last Saturday 9 August, Aemir had Sports Day at school in conjunction with the Olympics 2008. Of course every child received a medal and they only had 1 event for every class. But overall, he did very well!!

This Saturday 16 August, Aemir has Holiday Camp. They'll visit Putrajaya and then pitch up tents at school, start a camp fire and sleep overnight. He seems excited about it but I dunno if he'll be able to sleep in school with his friends without us. It'll be the first time he's away from parents, grandparents and caregiver alike!! It should be fun to see......my lil boy being Independent!!

Anyway....all's good in Motherland but I sure hate cooking EVERYDAY for the family. I'm such a bad cook because nobody eats! :P