Dark Clouds Begone

If you've been following my blog, you would know of a 'particular' person whom I have a personal grudge against - not because she's done anything to me, but because her actions and attitudes towards others(i.e. belittling her subordinates, status conscious etc.) have an impending effect on me that I just cannot accept such foul attitude from a person!

Ever since she joined us, there's been a "dark cloud" hanging over us (pardon me for the obvious innuendo). The working environment has been rather uptight, stressful, hypocritical, politically-divided etc. In short, not a very friendly place when you walk in - especially when you walk in on her 'screaming' at her staff!

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, as a friend, she can be a nice, loyal and good friend. As a colleague, she is intolerable. She's just not a Team Player - and she can never be one. She always wants to RULE and does not give anyone else the opportunity to SHINE!!! Anyone under her has to listen to her every needs and worries...and has to report directly to her and will be at fault if anything goes wrong (she won't claim liability for anything even though it might be her fault!)

From my perspective, I could never find a good-side to her no matter how hard I looked. Everything she did or said comes out WRONG and critical of anyone she hates! When she hates a person, she tries and infect others to do the same. Such vengence she has for that person can be so great that the entire firm is affected. How can one person have such a dual character and personality (I dunno)?!!! I do know that wherever she goes, whatever she does tak diberkati.

It's been 2 days since she left and you can tell the office mood has changed dramatically! Her staff are smiling and they don't look so stressed anymore. It is more 'peaceful' without her shouting her lungs out. No more sneaking around to chat with other staff....etc..

I do hope that her absence will have a tremendous effect on the firm and everyone will work better in the coming New Year and our shortcomings will be lesser.

--She has LEFT the Building--

reactions

I think I've been getting this a lot lately! Hmmm...have you ever received a call from an unknown number or a number that you've not installed in your handphone.....and when you pick up it is someone you never thought you'd hear from again?!!!

I received such a call today. Like any other annonymous calls this one caught me by surprise. Although I have a very good memory of people I've come across in my life, I pretended as though I didn't have a clue who this person was. So I probed and asked further until her identity was revealed.

This was a girl whom I went for religious classes with. Our houses used to be infront of each other and we went to each others' houses after school to play almost every day. We lost touch the moment I started boarding school. I never heard from her or heard of her until a few years back....

I thought I saw her go into OE (a jewellery shop) but I wasn't too sure until her friend called out her name. She looks the same, as skinny as ever (how I hate that)except that she's grown somewhat more beautiful and well-groomed than I remembered her. And sexy too!! Of course I didn't bother introducing myself then as I heavily pregnant and looking somewhat disshevelled.

Now she's got my number and finally decided to call on me to catch up. Few years back there were rumours that she was dating the prince....and I wasn't too sure if they got married or not, but I got confirmation from my sources that they did and the princess wasn't too happy about it!!!

So my questions to her in our short conversation was kind of weird:

I asked, "So are you married? Any kids?"

As though I was 'fishing' for information that I didn't already know. In fact I am a doo-doo in a sense because I don't bother intruding into other peoples' affairs. It's their perogative of whatever they choose to do. I shall not interfere!

So we decided to meet up end of the week since I'll be back in JB. I bet she looks ever-so gorgeous and different compared to me....but I do want to know the truth of whether she did end up marrying him or not!

===> just wanted to hear from the horses mouth!!

Although being myself, I am quite suspicious when someone calls me up out of the blue intending to meet up. I always fear that they want a favour out of me or they need some assistance in something. To me, it can NEVER be a casual meeting up or catching up with friends (with the exception of a few of my dearest and closest friends!!!)

So, we'll see how things go and I shall definitely update you!

---CHEERIOS---

disrespect

Once upon a time I had a profound respect and admiration for a particular "MENTOR" (let's call this person "M"). For obvious reasons, he had stature and wherever he goes people will look up to him. Nobody dares says "No". Nobody dares question his decisions - whether it was correct, wrong or not the very best decision he's made. In short, people were afraid of him. And to to lose respect for M is considered sinful because not only was he wise, most of the time he is correct!

It was glaringly obvious that my respect for M was tremendous. Everything he asked me to do I did. Everything I did as instructions/advise from him, has been for my own benefit and I did them out of love and respect for him. Through that I have succeeded till today. I wouldn't dare question him nor correct his decisions because they are usually good decisions and ever since I could remember he has been my No.1 MENTOR...UNTIL....I found his mentoring skills a bit too harsh and forceful.

The whole idea of mentoring is to "guide" the mentee to make good decisions and abide by good examples set by the mentor. It is a relationship that should have mutual respect for each other (be it the mentee respecting the mentor or vice versa). Thus, at the end of the day the mentee himself should decide on his own whether to embark on that job or not. So mentoring should be about guiding and not forcing a decision on the mentee nor is it about deciding for the mentee!!

In this case, I find that M was being selfish because he took 2 mentees overseas out of pretence that the whole purpose of their trip was to have meetings with clients and secure jobs in that country. Neither of the mentees thought that they would be gone for more than 2 weeks because after all, families, friends and loved ones were left behind just for M.

M didn't think about the needs of his mentees or those of his dependants before deciding to overstay his business visit. Out of the blue, M disclosed to his mentees that their trip will be extended for another month!

Although frustrated and surprised by M's decision, the 2 menteess didn't dare question him nor did they rebel. They kept silent but behind M's back, they quietly poured out their anger to each other and (some) to their dependants. Neither of them could voice out their displeasure and bail out on M (also because M had their air tickets with him).

I find this very disconcerting and a very selfish act on M's part. Mentees may have had plans with loved ones for the coming New Year, Birthday, or Chirstmas but none of these mattered to M.

When they tried to discuss this with M, M gave an ultimatum they can't refuse. This was very unfair since the mentees too have their own careers, job and life to handle. One of the mentees faced a problem of unhappy clients and unpaid job if he follows M's decision. The other will face a problem with his loved ones for 'abandoning' them in their time of need.

It didn't occur to M that many many people are relying on his mentees' return and mentees will face hardships in every aspect of their lives - just to please M.

Having said that, M's reasons for extending their stay is very valid and such an opportunity will may never crop-up again. It's a matter of devotion to God Almighty if they stay and embark on a pilgrimage they'll never forget.

I, for one, do not object to embark on that pilgrimage but the timing is just not proper. The arrangements, the preparations, the circumstances and priorities just do not suit the occassion.

So do you think these mentees will ever speak up?

Do you think they'll discuss this inside out?

Do you think they'll keep silent or protest?

I suppose I'm in no position to decide for them but I still do not agree to M's method of mentoring!

Lucky Lucky Lucky

Lunch Today was the odd wandering around town routine instead of stuffing my face with FOOD FOOD FOOD!!!

I didn't know what to have for lunch so I went to the bakery next door to grab a sandwich and wandered off to F.O.S!!! I thought I'd get Aemir more track pants for his park outings (to prevent him from grazing his knees again!) and at the same time I found myself 2 simple Tees to wear for my weekends at home.

I was happily scouting around the store...even decided to get my dear niece a nice frilly top and a matching frilly skirt for her birthday.

As I was queuing at the cashier, a tourist infront of me was paying for his purchase and his total bill entitled him 3 flasks. He immediately refused saying that "I have plenty of them at home. No thank you."

The cashier looked at him in awe....I just smiled. Then he turned to me and said " Unless you want them"

I hesitated for a while but looking at the shiny flasks before me I thought "WHY NOT!!!" So I thanked him profusely and shyly said " Ok I'll take one!"

The cashier looked at me in awe (pulak)..."Why don't you take all 3?" (in Bahasa)."Erm...bolehlah"

Actually I didn't want to seem greedy or show that I'm such an opportunist. But that is such a great opportunity and I'd be silly to turn down something like that!

So today, I feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world to be queuing infront of that tall blonde-haired guy. All I could think of was, "Thank you thank you thank you...."

It's such a rare incident and I happily walked out with 3 flasks (black, orange and red)

But I'm just as generous as that guy that I gave 2 away to the staff. Hmmmm....actually why did I open my big mouth?! (come to think of it...)

Well I did it out of sincerity and hopefully my sincerity will be paid off one day. May the flasks be taken care and appreciated by their new owners......

So I'm now a new owner of a black F.O.S flask!!

NOW... That got me thinking - Would a local/Malaysian do something similar?

Would a local/Malaysian refuse the free gifts?

I think NOT! I do not blame our locals for acting that way because it is instilled in us to accept whatever that comes along our way. I, certainly, am not ashamed to say that I would not have declined the 3 flasks even though I have 3 more at home - Just because I can always present it as a gift to someone or I can give it to my nieces/nephews for them to bring to school. In fact, before I accepted the flasks I didn't think I needed it but when offered I immediately thought that I may need it in the future - perhaps for my own use or for my son.

Would you call that being greedy or making use of a rare opportunity?

Whatever it is, I came out of F.O.S benefiting from my own purchases because my purchase certainly didn't entitle me to even one meezly flask!!!

Back to my question, Why can't Malaysians be not so kiasu? Why do we think we need everything in the world when we actually have enough?

Perhaps that should be a New Year's Resolution for 2007 - DO NOT BE SOOOOOO KIASU!!

This resolution should definitely applies to me because I'm a self-proclaimed "treasure-keeper" (for lack of a better word; which simply means I LOVE keeping unnecessary JUNK!!!) Truly I find that somethings (in my case, usually ALL THINGS) are worth keeping for memories-sake. I feel that to give it up,to part with it would cause me to lose that part of the memory that I wish to remember forever.

But of course, everyone knows truly well that one's memory fails you as you grow....so why the heck am I still keeping JUNK?!!!

Only God knows....now I have to find a place to keep my new Junk!!